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Disclaimer: All the characters, places, names and situations are fictions. They are not made to offend any individual's identity or thoughts. They are just character background and my characters does not define me, but just my thoughts for the character. I also request my readers to not have any biased mindset, the stories are meant to stir some feelings in you, so just go with the flow and enjoy. Please do not copy the stories and repost them.
Love💜
Copyright © WD, 2021 All rights reserved.
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Can the thought of someone you never knew give you happiness? Can just knowing that she is somewhere there change the way you feel and live? Can musing of “her” make you feel at home when you are cold? For me, the answer is YES.
The reality is that she was nowhere near me, that she was among the millions, and I cannot see all of them and find her because these millions of people are real. They all love me; I know it and cannot express my gratitude in mere words. I am in search of her, the one who is waiting for me.
What if I lose my chance, the chance to catch the glimpse of her eyes, the eyes that have seen me and only me forever? What if she decides to remain invisible and not come for me? What if I touch her and still fail to feel her?
How can I think of her? I have so much in front of me.
Why do I dream of her when I can only sense her existence?
How can I hear her light chuckle when I tug her hair behind her ear? Why do I see myself toying with her hair?
And after all this why can I not see her face?
All I know about her is her laugh and her eyes that are wandering in search of love.
How is it possible to love her when I don’t know her? When we are living different lives when I am so far away from her?
All I do is love her. All my emotions be it, anger, tiredness, fear, disgust, hate or jealousy turn into love when I think of her. My thoughts of love are very tiring to contain in my heart. I want to give away my heart in its entirety to her. I feel my love for her but all I need is to love her, have her in my arms, and treasure her forever.
She is so precious. She is just what I want in my life. Her ordinary life might be ordinary for her, but every moment in her life will be my time in heaven, not because I am tired of all the flashy lifestyle but because I value her and her life. Maybe I am tired of being extraordinary, and I can feel my knees getting weak at the sight of people behind me, following me. I want to be with her, just as any other person would. I want her to be my world. A world where I don’t have to worry about what I do or say. Where no one would judge me.
I fight every day to be the best in my world but she cannot see my struggles as she lives so far away. All she can see is me pretending to be happy, strong, and even if I fail, my next step should become a success story. I live a fragile life, so many people love me still, I cannot show them my weaknesses because I am afraid that they will be used against me, that people will leave me once they see me unfiltered. I just want to open myself like a book and keep it in front of her so that she can read and understand me, all my strengths and weaknesses. I wish she can see that I am just like her but with a different outer layer, that I am not someone far away but someone who is searching for a home.
I have so many people to love me still, there is a trench, a hollow only she can fill. I have best friends who fight the same battle as me; I wonder if she has them or not?
What if she is all alone?
What if I will be late to reach her and miss the chance of being with her when she needs me?
What if she gets startled when the camera flashes at her when people follow her?
What if I make her life different and she cannot endure it.
Will she accept all the scars and flaws that are hidden behind my makeup and camera edits?
Will she be okay if I smell different every day I return to her and will she be okay to stay apart if situations demand?
Will I be able to protect her, hold her hand, and claim to the world that she is the only treasure I want to have till my last breath?
Will the people following me still love me if I tell them that she is someone who has my heart? I must be in delusion to think this, as I am yet to find her.
I can still remember that night, that wintry night when the world around me seemed calm. I was reaching heights anyone had rarely imagined, yet I was alone. That night something brought her presence felt. I was not dreaming, but my heart and brain came together to create her. Then I knew she is there somewhere in reality, not just in my imagination. She is the missing piece of the puzzle who knows how flawed I am, who understands my loneliness, for whom I am not someone to be kept on a pedestal but someone on whom she can rely and share her everyday worries.
I am not distancing myself from the world but trying to bridge the gap. Both my heart and soul is determined to find her. I don’t know if I can meet her, yet her presence is felt by me every day, even if I will never know her face and she will never know the real me, I will love her and her thoughts will be enough for me. If there is something that can connect us, something like fate and destiny. I will be waiting to touch her, embrace her and hear her laugh with me.
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