HIM

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Disclaimer: All the characters, places, names and situations are fictions. They are not made to offend any individual's identity or thoughts. They are just character background and my characters does not define me, but just my thoughts for the character. I also request my readers to not have any biased mindset, the stories are meant to stir some feelings in you, so just go with the flow and enjoy. Please do not copy the stories and repost them.

Love💜

Copyright © WD, 2021 All rights reserved.

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Can one sight give you a feeling to want to see him more? Can just one song change your life’s motto and your thought process? For me, the answer is YES.

The reality struck me when “him” was unreachable. If not billions, it seems millions of pretty girls are after him. Spare some thoughts on the large number because they are real. They are after him, dreaming and thinking, smiling and wishing to be near him. Some of them are few steps closer, some are few steps behind, yet all of them are miles apart; he knows it all, but me. I am just an invisible molecule of oxygen like all these people are. We are a necessity to him, yet he can never see us all. He knows it; he is always humble and obliged. We both know neither of us can even touch each other.

Why do I feel for him? 

When did it start?

How can I even feel for someone so unreachable, so far away?

Even though I can see him every moment. Even though I can listen to him whenever I want to. But the fact that we never met. That meeting might not be on the cards that we are sitting in different situations and phases of life, which forces me to wonder, how is it possible to feel for him?

I keep on stating “feels” because I don’t want to limit my feelings towards him with some mere words and emotions associated with them that are widely in use. It might be love, fondness, hate, jealousy, possessiveness, insecurity, or anything else. They are all feelings, and I want to feel everything for him. Strange! I want to feel for him, but I need to feel him, feel with him. 

He is so exquisite that even his imperfections are acclaimed, credited, and cherished. This makes me see myself in disgust, not because I am jealous of him and his accomplishments but because my mind dares to think about him. I am just so ordinary. I am a puzzle of imperfections. Health, wealth, and appearance nothing, I don’t have anything. I am one in seven billion, the invisible one. He is one in seven billion, the only one who is shining. 

I might be the best in my world, but he lives in an entirely different universe. Even if we come to the same place, will I be able to catch his eyes? And if I could, then the thought of him embracing my scarred skin gives me shivers; because he is flawless and I am the flaw myself. 

Will he be pleased to see someone not so pretty?

Will it be okay for me to not have the perfect body like his? 

Will he be able to keep an ordinary person in his world where everyone has something extraordinary? 

What if he finds someone special like him in his world?

Will he hold my hand in front of the flashing shutters? Will he be able to claim me in front of all, that the only flaw he has is me? I might be in delusion to think like this because for him, my existence is invisible.

I am not forcing him on a pedestal but just so he knows, I know from his eyes that there is a trench in us. We are poles apart, but that hollow drags me to him. The black hole of feelings, the black hole of subconscious instinct that got triggered when I saw him, heard him that day, the day when my eyes were already red and swollen from all those tears that I had shed. I knew he existed and that day I knew he was alive, never before I was drawn to him until that cold gloomy night when I felt his warmth from the small screen of my phone. I want to share all that is mine with all that is his to know that he is just like me. What if our imperfect puzzle fits together with each other.

Even with all those lights, lenses, colorful clothes, expensive wardrobes, classy friends, camera shutters, and the environment around him I somehow feel he is alone, just like me. I can sense it, I am not sure.

I am not belittling myself. I am keeping the facts straight that my head is battling my heart to understand. Now I get it when people said about being torn apart between heart and brain; this is wrong though, it is my mind and soul that is having a fight. It’s my mind being practical and my soul being considerate. Both are strong. 

Whatever happens, he will be somewhere in me, even if he never knew me, me knowing the superficial him seems enough. If there is something like fate, something like telepathy between souls, that connection, destiny, or anything like that. I will be waiting! 

Click for HER side of the story